Gen Z!

Well well well… 2023 and Gen Z have changed the maternal norms for the youngest generation? 

We have all popped into our local pharmacy at some point in our lives, scared shitless of an unwanted pregnancy too young to handle.. never has a stick had us stifled! The overwhelming fear of getting a positive result at the wrong stage pfff its scary, right? 

For some, the thought of premature menopause can also be scary because some women do want kids. The long-term dangers of not menstruating (menopause) are bone density loss, heart complications, and other problems follow. 

I have two nieces (cannot name) who would hate to have kids; in fact would not even mind removing their uterus!! The thought scared me when they so casually and boldly said it. (which was fine), but I felt a huge sadness knowing how young they had already made up their minds before even considering their procreating future. 

Gen Z enjoy the thought of success, dual incomes and freedom with no kids, and preferably rich! 

And they are proclaiming to be an auntie and uncle lifestyle forever. 

Some people are built differently, of course, and who am I to judge? Every generation is brought up differently and with different values and ambitions, which I think is pretty damn impressive! Oh, how times have changed. 

I mean, ok, they listen to us complain about sleepless nights, cancelled holidays and having to be responsible for a mini-human being while our older kids tend to take part in looking after young siblings.

does this really damage their perception of family? 

When they finally meet their forever partner, will this feeling of freedom still linger, or will they regret it??

For some women, that choice comes at a ghastly price! I mean, your body naturally takes that choice from you when you hit a certain age and stop menstruating. Then you have NO choice. I mean, some younger teens would go as far as removing their uterus because it's an inconvenience to them! 

would you remove your uterus?? Because that’s another long-term permanent choice. This seems to be a popular, controversial choice some younger kids are considering! I mean, kids aren’t for everyone. It takes a journey to find out; some will, some won’t. 

Soo many questions! 

I suggested other points why several reasons Millennials are also proving slow to have children. Some point to economics. The cost of living is also getting a lot more expensive, and there may be a lasting economic insecurity that is causing young would be parents to think twice before procreating. Others assert that student debt has delayed parenthood. Perhaps. This is beside my point. 

A survey reveals that only 55% of Gen Z and millennials plan to have children. One in four of those surveyed, aged between 18 and 34, have ruled out motherhood entirely, with the most common reason cited as wanting a lot more freedom.

Why this increasing need for more me time? A likely reason is that young people are now navigating an era of more ambition and success and generally extended adolescence. 

In recent years, and various shifts later, from the rising cost of living to the expansion of higher education, have led to both millennials and Gen Z reaching traditional milestones much later than their predecessors. Millennials are living at home and delaying marriage and procreation, and there are many! 

Meanwhile, members of Gen Z have less likely to have experienced adult activities like going on a date, working for pay, learning to drive, or having sex!! Compared to teens in the preceding five decades. Given that many young adults still feel like children themselves (so I’ve been told by some of my nieces), it's no surprise that they are delaying or rejecting parenthood, choosing instead to extend their “me time”. 

Modern culture also continually facilitates and encourages this extended adolescence. In our materialistic and individual-centred age, the pursuit of personal desires and self-discovery is often valued above all else, with traditional bonds seen as constraints. 

Millennials are increasingly driven by money and success, fame and image. Social media has a lot to do with the times we are living in now. The younger generations are moving away from traditional concerns like community and into affiliations and social climbing. These increasingly individualistic values likely contribute to younger generations’ adaptation to freedom without procreating. Early adulthood now involves more time for self-exploration in one’s twenties, a pursuit uncommon in traditional societies. 

Corporations and educational institutions, and also popular culture have reinforced this cultural shift, capitalising on our prolonged adolescence. For example, the rise of fitness culture and rapidly expanding millions, I would only imagine in such a vast commercial way, which constantly encourages us to spend more money on ourselves, prioritising “self-care” and catering to our inner child. Our infantilisation is indulged and commodified across various industries, from universities providing students with colouring books, bubbles and Play-Doh to the booming market for childlike activities and products such as child-like accessories and adult Happy Meals. And by that I mean all the new healthy meals delivered to our doors. 

While some now enjoy more freedoms and opportunities than previous generations, delaying adulthood and focusing on ourselves also come with significant consequences. Women especially face limited choices if they wait too long to have children. But delayed maturity also comes at a cost for young men, who feel increasingly lost and depressed with modern life. Because yes, this also happens. 

New cultures keep us all straddling along a strange, intermediate state in which we face the pressures of adult life but are encouraged to cling to and prolong our “selfish years” as long as possible. 

Yet, with record levels of mental health problems (as I have written in a previous article) and a deepening sense of loss in our tradition and illusion, perhaps what young people need is a culture that encourages responsibility, personal sacrifice, and commitments that stretch beyond self-indulgence and endless “self-care”??  Notably, numerous studies show that meeting the needs of others can better fulfil our psychological well-being than focusing solely on ourselves. Yes, because living in our own illusion or bubble is not healthy. 

Not everyone needs to have children, but younger generations are being failed by a culture that places excessive emphasis on the individual, treats them like perpetual teenagers, and glamorises living in a liminal state of prolonged adolescence. As many of us float through our twenties and thirties, trying to find meaning in the limitless freedoms and indulgences of modern life, some might regretfully realise that we focused too much time on ourselves. Then, we’ll wonder what we may have missed…